Category Archives: crazy

my post-baby body

I gained 37lbs while pregnant. I was 128lbs pre-preg and rocking 165lbs at delivery. Today at 6 months postpartum, I’m 132lbs. Even though I’m only 4lbs away from my previous weight, my body looks nothing like it used to. I have almost no waistline, my boobs, butt, and thighs are much bigger and jigglier, oh and I have stretchmarks everywhere. That stuff I can live with. The only thing that really bothers me is my testicle tummy. My belly was really big and stretched out, so now the skin is wrinkled and saggy, despite having a flat stomach. I hate this.


6 months postpartum belly - side

Looking pretty good from the side. (Lilu says hi.)


6 months postpartum belly - front
And testicle-y in front. :(

I hope this goes away before summer since I’ve never worn anything but a bikini.

cheap baby toys

My kid doesn’t have a whole bunch of toys. We have a few gifts from friends, a couple things we got her for Hanukkahristmas, and our collection of stuffed animals. You know what she likes to play with? Paper bags. Water bottles. Empty formula tubs. JCrew catalogs.




I have to watch her with the catalogs since she sliced her finger on a staple. Yeah freaking mom of the year right here. Whatever, she loved it.


My mom passed this afternoon. It doesn’t even seem real. We went to her apartment and it just felt like we were waiting for her to come home. We had so many plans and I just feel so empty that nothing came of them. I don’t have a single picture of her holding Lilu, even though she did many times. I think I feel more upset about that than anything. And she was only 65 years old. I already miss her so much.

lilu is here!

Ok so it’s been over a month, but it’s been an INSANE month. My daughter was born, I landed back in the hospital for 3 days, and then my mom was in a car accident and is still in the ICU. But I don’t want to think about all that, so instead I’ll talk about Lilu and how she got here.


On Wednesday, August 24th, we were told we should induce. A growth scan revealed that our baby was around 8 1/2lbs with a large head. If we waited she could reach 9lbs — which is a really large baby for my petite body to handle. We decided to go ahead with the induction and scheduled it right away for 3am the next day. Needless to say, we didn’t sleep a wink!


Time to have a baby!
Here I am all excited and ready to meet my baby!


We went in and got settled in our room with Bridget, my nurse. She was the nurse who gave us the Labor and Delivery tour and I really liked her. After the standard blood work, the IV and monitors were placed, and the Pitocin started flowing to get labor started. I just hung out in bed, resting and talking to Adam while we waited for my doctor to arrive.


Waiting for the pitocin to kick in


At 10am, my doctor came in and, after making fun of my gold eye mask, got down to business and broke my water. I was terrified of this, but it was actually no big deal. Instead of the giant fishhook I’d seen in videos, it was just a plastic plunger thing that wasn’t scary at all. It didn’t hurt either, instead it felt like dipping into a hot bath because I had a lot of fluid. After that we waited for my contractions to intensify. I bounced on the birthing ball and watched Twilight with Adam.


We were about halfway through the movie when it started to hurt. It wasn’t super painful, it was just a very annoying tug, and they were coming every 2 minutes. I was still only 4 centimeters dilated so they kept upping my Pitocin. I asked for something to take the edge of so I could continue resting since I obviously had a long night ahead of me. They gave me Stadol and Adam and I passed out for a while.


When I woke up, I was hurting. My contractions were much stronger. I asked Bridget to call for the anesthetist. My epidural was painlessly placed and I tried to go back to sleep. Honestly I was more hungry than anything else, and I told everyone I would be eating pepperoni pizza soon instead of ice chips. (They don’t let you have food or drinks in case they need to put you under for an emergency c-section.)


When they came in to check me again, hours later, I was still a 4! They upped my Pitocin to level 32, inserted an internal fetal monitor, and started shifting my body so that I lay on one side and then another. I quickly went from a 4 to a 6. During the turning, Bridget suspected that Lilu had turned OP — face up. She grabbed a midwife from the hall to confirm. So now we were also shifting in order to turn the baby back around.


I started feeling more and more uncomfortable. I felt pain in my urethra and vagina, and I was starting to feel the tugging again. I asked for more pain medicine and they added something to my epidural, but I felt no relief and started moaning through the contractions. Eventually I just went to another place in my head to deal with the pain. Every time someone talked to me I started moaning and begging for the catheter to be removed. I was convinced that the catheter was causing the pain. They added even more medicine but that didn’t help.


I begged the second nurse, Missy, to take out the catheter. She finally did at 7pm and I realized that yes, the catheter had hurt a lot, but that I could actually feel everything, that my legs were only numb because I had been laying in bed for so many hours. We called the anesthetist again and said that I was still feeling pain. He said he had already given me A LOT of medicine and decided to check the epidural site. He said blood was running down my back, more blood than was normal. We decided that the epidural had pulled out enough that it was no longer working.


I went upright again to have a new epidural inserted. After that, my doctor checked and I was at 8cms. He said he’d be back after the Redskins game! Missy put the catheter back in and it didn’t bother me at all. I was in a happy place. My baby was still face up, but my labor was progressing so I wouldn’t need a c-section, and my epidural was finally working. Hallelujah!


I was checked again shortly after and progressed from 9cms to just a lip, and then my doctor showed up and said I was complete. Suddenly there were a lot of people in the room prepping things. Missy started doing perineal massage, which I said felt nice and Adam looked at me like I was crazy. (He later explained that it looked rough and painful.) My doctor suited up, I got a blue sheet over my thighs, and I started to push. It was very relaxed. My doctor reported between pushes that the Redskins had lost but that it was only the preliminaries so it didn’t really matter.


Somewhere in that hour of pushing and banter, I heard some snipping and snapped my head up, and my doctor said casually “It’s okay, I just gave you an episiotomy.” Adam told me later that the doctor had backed up, gauged the size of Lilu’s head, and reached for the scissors. After a couple of pushes, her head came out and my doctor said, “STOP PUSHING.” Someone asked about cord blood, and my doctor snipped her cord off and said, “No time.” I pushed the rest of her body out and the waiting nurses took her. The cord was wrapped around her neck and she wasn’t crying. They suctioned her nose and mouth for several minutes before she started making garbled cries. I got to kiss her cheek and then she was whisked off to the NICU.


Quick, distract her with the baby while we sew her up

After 16 hours of intense labor at the highest levels of Pitocin allowed with no epidural for most of it, and an episiotomy with a tear off the side, Coralie Lulette was born at 2am on August 26th. She was 7lbs 15ozs and 20 inches long, with a 14.5 inch head. Other than some mucus in her lungs, she was perfect and completely worth it.


Newborn Lilu

I’m head over heels for this kid. :)

for your viewing pleasure

I’m off giving birth, and no you can’t watch. But here’s some entertainment while you wait. It’s like elevator music, only good.



Warning: F-bombs x 3 & whorish behavior.

20/50: make embarassing trip to the hospital

So last night, after a long bout of incredible pregnancy sex, I started leaking a lot of watery fluid. Like unreal amounts of fluid. And every time I sat up, more came out. This went on from about midnight to 8am and, while my husband slept, I lay in bed worrying about whether this was amniotic fluid or if it was just caused by all that good sex. I really had no idea. Plus my husband said that he smelled something different which really worried me.


When I sat up in the morning, I felt another gush. So I changed into my 4th pair of panties and called my friend who had a baby last year. She told me to call the doctor. The nurse there told me to go to the maternity hospital to get tested, since I’m 35 weeks and my hospital lacks a NICU. I figured they were just going to do a swab to see if it is amniotic fluid. So I didn’t shower, wear makeup, do my hair, or eat. How naive of me.


After checking in through triage, I did the usual urine sample, but then they had me strip and rigged me up to monitors to check my contractions and Lilu’s heart rate. I was not expecting this at all. Luckily, she was doing great, and I while I was having a lot of contractions, they weren’t even or consistent. Eventually a doctor came in to give me my first internal exam. I’m completely closed, -3 station. She also tested my fluid. The verdict? It’s not amniotic fluid. It’s just copious amounts of regular, run of the mill, scare the crap out of a first time mom fluid. Good to know.



So what have I learned today?


1. Going through four pairs of underwear in one day is no big deal in L&D land. Since I’m at level 15.5 of the healthy 5-25 range, when my water actually breaks, it will run down my leg and continue to puddle for hours upon hours. Sounds fab!


2. I have no idea when I’m having contractions. What I have always thought was Lilu moving and kicking me in a painful way was actually her reacting to my contractions. So counting contractions probably won’t be possible for me until they HURT. BADLY.


3. There are no quick trips to the hospital. This fiasco was 3 hours long, and an hour of that was driving. I think I will stay home until she’s term so I can go to the closer hospital, unless my water actually breaks, which as I mentioned will be my only clear indication of labor until the contractions become unbearable. Or I see blood. (Duh.)


Anyway, it was an experience. Now I’m starving and exhausted and I’ve just had enough. The oven repair guy is supposed to come soon and as soon as he leaves, I am passing out. Until then, I am going to eat dark chocolate Klondike bars. Just des(s)erts.

17/50: put together postpartum kit

Warning: I keep it real. You might not want to read this!


I want a bunch of good stuff:
Lots of Tucks
Witch hazel
A peri bottle
Stool softener
Numbing spray like dermoplast
Sitz bath with salts? (I’ve seen this rec’ed online, still considering it.)


And finally, I don’t know what to do about pads. Some people even recommend Depends! It seems weird to cloth diaper my baby and then wear a disposable diaper myself. I do have some pads leftover from 3 years ago when I stopped using disposables. I usually use cloth pads on my first day and toilet paper for the rest since my period isn’t all that crazy. Maybe I’ll make some t-shirt rags. Yuck, I feel like such a Prairie Hippie just saying that.

6/50: make appointments

I’m still photographing baby outfits because I ran out of daylight yesterday. But I have a ton of appointments I need to schedule that really can’t wait. Plus it’s cloudy this morning. :/


DONE – Birth classes: I reserved a spot for Sunday, but I need to confirm and pay for this.
DONE – 3d ultrasound: I have doctor’s orders, but I need to chose a date & location.
DONE – Dental cleaning: Periodontal disease is linked to preterm labor, so I want to knock this out.
DONE – Septic inspection & maintenance: Because I live in the sticks.
Waiting for a callback – A/C inspection & maintenance: We need this for sure after all that remodeling. :P


I feel like there are other things missing, but that might just be a pervading sense of panic settling in… Whatevs.

the 50/50: 50 things to do in the 50 days before baby comes

Over the course of my pregnancy and lengthy maternity leave, I have not become Suzie Homemaker. Instead I have become more like Carrie Bradshaw than I ever thought possible. I want to go shopping and get my nails done. Handbags call out to me. And I want to have crazy amounts of sex with my husband, whose smile makes me as absolutely giddy as it did when we were teenagers.


Where are my maternal instincts? Where are my nesting instincts? (And dear god, no one show that sexy man I just mentioned the latest credit card statement. All the pregnancy sex I can muster wouldn’t be enough to ease him into a state of mind where blowing $100 on an outfit that only fit for 5 minutes sounds like a good idea.)


In an effort to stop nesting with my wallet, I’ve created the 50/50, a master task list of all the crap I should have been doing instead of hanging out at Kate Spade. It has one task for each of the 50 days before baby arrives. I put the most important stuff up front, just in case baby comes early. It starts tomorrow!